Most people who haven’t walked the marriage path think sexual infidelity is the leading cause of divorce, but that’s not true. A series of studies featuring dating sites for the aged and divorced show communication problems as one of the reasons most marriages fail. Find out more reasons for high rates of divorce.
- Marrying for wrong motives
Why are you marrying your partner? Is it for the money or do you have any reasons why think it is the right choice to make? Many divorced women say the issues that led to their exit were with them right from the start, only that “everybody anticipated we’d live happily ever after” or “we’d just built our home” or “we had already used up so much money on wedding plans”. So always make sure you only marry someone because you love them and want to be by their side all your life and not for any other reason.
- Getting lost in roles
Just like couples “forget” their friends and ways as soon as they marry, adding children to the mix may cause parents to neglect or forget that they need each other as a couple. Until the child grows and starts requiring less attention is when husbands and wives realize that they’ve grown apart and cannot even remember why they ever came together in the first place as they no longer have anything in common.
- Lack of self-character
Inter-reliant relationships aren’t healthy. When one party doesn’t have interests of their own or the chance to express themselves outside the relationship, they become “couple dumb.” If one partner isn’t contented doing things on their own, or do not know the kinds of music, food or movies they like, then they may end up in the deep and maybe feel like they are drowning.
- The intimacy fades away
Somewhere in the course of marriage there comes a change in intimacy levels. One partner has a bad day or there comes a misunderstanding, and the other feels they aren’t as romantic as they were before.
The one with the change may cause a downward spiral in intimacy levels. Men usually need sexual receptivity to feel romantic while women need romance to become sexually receptive. These signals might be missed due to a lack of communication about each other’s wants and needs. For example, one partner might want to experiment with using sex toys in the bedroom or watching porn like Midgetporn together but not know how to go about starting that conversation. As long as both parties are getting whatever they need, they happily provide what their partner wants. However, a shortcoming on either’s part could cause the other to pull back. If unnoticed and before a couple sees the red flags, they may be getting out of touch and begin wondering what happened? This could trigger divorce because the couples start to feel unappreciated and unloved.
- Out of touch, out of mind
“Out of touch” here means the lack of physical contact. While sex is great, it is essential to complement it with some pecks and kisses, spur-of-the-moment hugs and holding of hands. Pairs who do not keep an intimate linking through both sexual and non-sexual cues may soon turn into virtual strangers.
- Unsatisfied expectations
When we are unhappy in relationships, we tend to make our partners make the changes that we feel will make us happy again. This may include complaining, accusing, disapproving, nagging, punishing, threatening, or bribing. When both or one of the partners in a marriage are trying to force one another into doing things they don’t willingly want to do to impress their partners, then you may soon visit the Turner law office. When you are not happy in a relationship, it is okay to request for change, but, if your spouse does not oblige you, then it is upon you to look for your happiness.
- Lack of a shared success vision
“Things changed when we started living together!” if the wife is a spender and the husband is a saver then things may soon go out of hand as he may start viewing her as a spendthrift. If the wife thinks her job is not to cook and clean as the husband thinks then the two are in serious disagreement. Sometimes women ask “why didn’t he mention such things before?” and the man feels that maybe she should have asked. Perhaps the man hasn’t changed- only your expectations did. According to philosophy, it possible to survive main differences. However, many couples do not.
- Money matters
The problem with finances is not always the lack of money but the difference in opinions concerning the use of funds. Opposites can match, but if the two are arguing about money, then a divorce may follow. Picture the clash if one is a saver and the other is a spendthrift. One party is watching the future while the other partner is happier living for today. Such conflicts may worsen over time and escalate to heights where divorce seems like the only reasonable remedy.
- Failure to settle arguments
All couples have differences. The remedy is to come up with ground rules so that every partner feels heard and appreciated. In some instances, it takes a mediator to help set up those rules and teach the couple to overcome the charged emotions so that anger does not take over.
- Conflicting interests and dreams
Sharing interests and discovering them together is critical in ensuring a marriage works successfully. And while having some “alone time” is important too, it is vital that you find common desires and find ways to explore them together or you’ll undoubtedly grow far and far apart from each other.
From squabbling about house chores to quarreling about kids; constant arguing destroys many relationships. Couples who have the same quarrel over and over often do so because they feel their partners do not appreciate them. Many people find it difficult to see the other person’s perspective, which gives birth to a lot of arguments that never end in a reasonable resolution. Avoid the traps listed above if you wish to have a long-lasting marriage with your partner and live happily ever after.